Since trying to conceive since April of 2010, I find myself going absolutely crazy. My life has become a constant view of the calendar, counting and planning while trying to maintain stress levels as well as enjoy the art of sex. However, after about 8 negative pregnancy tests, purchasing feminine products, and getting my period, life just took a horrible U-turn.
On the cool morning in April, I was happy to speak with my gynecologist about being ready to have a baby. She was thrilled that I brought the news with a smile and decided that it was time to break up with the Pill after 13 years. Of course, I inquired about whether the Pill makes it more difficult to get pregnant and got the response, “It’s different for everyone.” Somehow, I wasn’t satisfied with the response since I have to hoist myself up onto the table every 6 months as she gets the bird’s eye view of the happenings in there. I guess it was something that I would have to settle with for the time being. At first, I was going to finish the round of Pills that I had; there was about a week and a half left. I then thought of my pharmacist sister telling me that if you stop your Pill in the middle of the cycle, it can not only mess up your cycle, but you could become pregnant. I therefore stopped with 1.5 weeks left.
I felt that I had all the eggs in a row (pun intended). I did not do much research on getting pregnant and thought that it would be something relatively simple. However, when I got my period after our first attempt, I was devastated. I’m sure that I knew deep down that I wouldn’t get pregnant the first time around, but I sure was confident that I was going to be.
May was probably the worst month. I had written on the calendar, planning my sexual routine on even numbered days and making sure that my husband did not have any work trips. We were like clockwork trying on every even day from day 10 all the way to 28. I took another negative pregnancy test, but heard that it could possibly be inaccurate as the hormone levels could still be quite low. Friends have told me to hold the negative test against a white piece of paper to determine if you can see a faint line. A faint line is still a pregnant line. I nearly became obsessed in the month of May by holding each of the three pregnancy tests to the white sheets of paper from my printer. Because I wanted it so badly, my eyes made me believe that I saw the line. I was a week late on my period and I thought that I scored. The Friday after the date that I was to have my period, I got it. Again, devastation. My husband tried to cheer me up by taking me out to dinner. We went to a new Indian restaurant in the area. We sat down… right next to a visibly pregnant woman. I cried at the table.
I’ve discovered that the day my period came was the worst day. The day after and so on, were fine. However, after taking 4 negative pregnancy tests, I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with me. When I finally came to the realization that I had no clue what was wrong, I started doing some research online. Granted, it made me more obsessed, but at least I had a better idea of what I should be doing. I started with my diet. I rehired my personal trainer and got back into working out about 3-5 days a week and I cut out lunch meat. I spoke to a friend who had her baby boy over a year ago and she told me that I should stop. Therefore, I decided to cut it out as I’m sure it wasn’t good for me anyway. I then realized that I should have been taking my prenatal vitamins since my visit to the gynecologist. Great, no wonder I wasn’t getting pregnant.
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